We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
