Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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