there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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