Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
