next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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