New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Every concussion has its silver lining
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
