you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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