duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
