she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
