Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
