The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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