he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
