nut hugger
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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