Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
