There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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