I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
