Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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