There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
