he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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