i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
