The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
