I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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