Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm always down for nudity.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
