thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
