eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
