i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
