I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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