Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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