My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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