Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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