my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
