there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
