Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
If I die, sorry about rent.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
