lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
