I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Shame - the story of my life.
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