i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
