my mouth tastes like poor choices
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
