And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
