We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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