i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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