So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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