i just had sex bonerless
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
