i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
