Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
