He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
