If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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