My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
