i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
