It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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