bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
