I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
