One girl and one boy is just not enough.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
