I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Randomize
