I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
